I'm finally here at the age the 30. Thirty is the new twenty
people are saying. Maybe it's just a nice way of saying that you're getting
older, uglier, more miserable, too unhip to be following pop culture anymore, too old to watch cartoons or play video games,
etc. I see a lot of people take it as the beginning of the end; the ending of
your prime; the demise of your youth. However, while things have changed from
my younger days, I definitely wouldn't trade being older for it. Here's why.
It's kinda funny how I got here. This actually wasn't
planned or even expected. I remember when I hit my twenties, I was going to
college and was ready to tackle the world. I somehow managed to move out on my
own at the tender age of 22, get a stable job and live on my own. It was
awesome because it was the first time I really got to do something without the
admonishment of my seemingly always-disapproving parents. It was definitely fun
at first, but then I realized I wasn't so innocent anymore. I was working
full-time and being an adult was no longer optional. For better or for worse,
there's no turning back.
So then comes and goes my mid-to-late twenties. I've gotten
some good job experience and the crappy jobs I used to have to stomach were
nothing but a memory. I've started to party real hard, up to the point where I
knew I was becoming a club rat. I even saw the same people in different clubs
after a while. I didn't care about thinking of a career worthwhile or plans to
be able to carry on after all the "twenties angst" passed. I was
making it, and by God, I was going to have fun.
The only thing was that the party didn't last. In spite of
going to party after party, easily spending $100 or more on any given night,
and even chatting up some hot women in the process, there was something
missing. I remember I always used to have something planned and was always out
for some reason. I didn't even have time to dwell on what was really happening
in my life beyond the party scene. All of a sudden, the party scene, always
"hanging out" and spending money started to lose it's exciting flavor
to it. I noticed that once the pleasurable feeling subsided, I felt this awful
feeling of emptiness. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I didn't like
it, so I partied even more hard. That should show me. All of a sudden, the
party scene just didn't feel the same way like before. I started to become
hooked on it, exhilarated, dependent on the feeling because it was definitely
better than the alternative of feeling lonely. It was like an endless void that
I felt within, and for the first time maybe ever, I was starting to get
concerned that not only did I not have my peace, but with all the fun stuff,
I've forgotten my purpose in life. I felt it very strange too, since I was
always with friends and was constantly in touch with them.
I guess the moment really hit me when I got laid off from a
job I had in the Financial District. The day I got laid off, I started losing
my hair due to stress. I couldn't believe it. I didn't think I was that
stressed out. When I noticed that, I immediately went on vacation. After that
moment, I told myself never again would I ever allow myself to become so
broken. Once I came back from vacation, I enrolled in school to finish my
degree. It felt like another job. It was something I've been wanting to do, but
that same familiar feeling of panic and despair set in. I felt it especially
with the harder classes that made me suffer. After a whole, I knew I had to
find a way to combat the stress or it was literally going to kill me. That's
when I (re)discovered meditation. I dedicated myself to it, to finding the
answers I sought and I can gladly say I'm better after all that. Now I feel
like I'm in a different stage of my life. I'm older, yes, but not only is my
"prime" still there (I honestly didn't know if it would stay or not),
but I feel like I'm wiser and I actually know how to use everything I may have
taken for granted in my younger years, like partying and socializing. I've
realized that being in your 30's isn't necessarily worse than your beloved 20's.
It's just different. A few things that I've learned to help make your thirties
terrific:
1) Keep your body in shape
With all problems with inactivity today in the United States (and the rest of the world following suit), it's no wonder so many people are now obese, tired and miserable. This is why I've dedicated myself to working out. I'm not a musclehead either, but like my ex-roommate used to say, "your body is a temple of God." Why not treat it as such? Yeah, we're all busy but this is your health. No, going to the gym for half an hour a week and/or posting your workouts on Facebook won't cut it.
With all problems with inactivity today in the United States (and the rest of the world following suit), it's no wonder so many people are now obese, tired and miserable. This is why I've dedicated myself to working out. I'm not a musclehead either, but like my ex-roommate used to say, "your body is a temple of God." Why not treat it as such? Yeah, we're all busy but this is your health. No, going to the gym for half an hour a week and/or posting your workouts on Facebook won't cut it.
Once your health is gone (like I found out), it's going to
be very difficult to get back. This is a problem if you always find yourself
busy because your health will forcibly shut down your whole body, so you won't
be able to get anything accomplished. Studies have shown that you can still
keep a fit physique well into old age. Plus, how I can forget Tony Horton from P90X fame (since I love P90X, but I've probably overdid it). How can that guy be 54 years old? Why can't you be like that in your advanced ages? Like my old Tae-Kwon-Do instructor always told me, the reason why you see so many old people in bad health is because they don't take care of their bodies when they're younger.
2) Take some "me" time for yourself
You always have plenty of time to be an office slave later, and you can always party later as well (at least if you're a social person, there will always be an opportunity to party). If you're not sociable, learn how to be sociable (and there are ways). Do whatever it is you want to do. Not only do you get that angst out of your system, but you can see if it's something you truly want for yourself.
You always have plenty of time to be an office slave later, and you can always party later as well (at least if you're a social person, there will always be an opportunity to party). If you're not sociable, learn how to be sociable (and there are ways). Do whatever it is you want to do. Not only do you get that angst out of your system, but you can see if it's something you truly want for yourself.
During my two years taken off of work due to bad health,
I've volunteered at my local hospital, graduated with my English degree and went on vacation which I used to travel to many places. I traveled to Colombia,
Western Europe, Hawaii and Florida during my time off, during which I
discovered that I want to be committed to traveling the world and that working in the physical therapy field was not for me. It makes for a
better story than "I partied all night until the morning and got
wasted," don't you think?
This is your idea of a good time?
3) Try something new
How often do you avoid doing something not necessarily because it's bad, but because it's out of your comfort zone and you'd rather not disturb things in your life. You could be working in an awful job, not getting enough money to cover expenses, have a lousy relationship with a significant other, and still decide you don't want to "ruin" things. Sure, things can always be worse, but would that really be what you want for yourself? The problem with this is how do you expect to improve yourself if you never try? Like Wayne Gretzky says, "you miss 100% of the shots you never take," so at least try something. Grab that hockey stick and take a shot, a peck. You don't even have to use a hockey stick. Try kicking it in the goal. Try at least get near the goal. Who cares if it hits the back of the net instead of inside? The whole point is DO it.
Like with everything, it takes experience in order to get better at it. No one is 100% the first time they try something new, but as you try more and more, the better you get no matter how much you sucked in the beginning. Don't worry about results because they come in time (Rule #1: Focus on mastering the correct technique, not the end results. Once you master the basics, the good results you seek will follow on their own). In my opinion, too many people whine about not getting anywhere after a week of trying something new and then go back to doing something old, even though it hasn't worked for years and years. I say that one time is an accident, twice is a coincidence and three times, you're doing something wrong that you need to change (now known as Rule #24). I'm as guilty as anyone with falling into patterns. This makes sure I don't fall into bad habits through subjective thinking. Besides, making mistakes if what life is all about because that's how we learn (Rule #25: If you're not making mistakes in life, it means you're not learning and growing as a person).
4) Don't compare yourself to others
I'm sure that as you age, you're compelled to look at your peers to see "how far you've come" at your ever-advancing age. DON'T DO IT! There will always be someone smarter, stronger, taller, better-looking, has more money that you, has a hotter boy/girlfriend that yours, has a better apartment, drives a better car, etc. The point is it's meaningless to compare apples to oranges. It's like saying that the team with the best record in Major League Baseball for example is going to win the World Series. As you see, it rarely happens and having the "best" win-loss record in baseball doesn't guarantee that you're the "best." Here are some stats at how often the "best" team in baseball wins the entire championship (hint: it's far from a guarantee).
So what does it mean to be the best? Easy. There's is no such thing (Rule #6: There is no such thing as being the best or the worst. There is only such a thing as becoming the best or the worst that you can be). Just like with everyone, you are better than someone else in certain areas of life and talents, just like they're better than you or other areas of life and talents. Besides, you never know a person's ENTIRE life story so it's easy to hate on others when in reality, their life is far from perfect as well. I know for example whenever I date a smoking hot girl, it's like that because people think she's seemingly "untouchable" lady. Then, reality sets in because as I get to know the lady, it's like opening Pandora's Box where all the evils come out (from experience, the hotter girls tend to be less emotionally and mentally stable than your average person). Usually, the surprise is so bad it practically knocks me on my ass with me saying "WHOA!" Then afterwards, it's not uncommon for guys who know about my dates to ask me for her information (so they can contact her) or asking me to hook them up with her or at least introduce them to my female friends. They usually don't believe me when I say it's not worth it.
5) Age is just a number
If I had a nickel for every person that said they're too "old" to do certain things now that they're in their 30's and beyond, I'd be a rich man. What's stopping you? Is there a law against going to the gym and get fit, or eating better for a healthier lifestyle. Really, people! Don't use laziness as an excuse. If you don't want to do it for yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. You just don't feel like making the effort. Now, I'm not saying you should ride on the coin-operated kiddie rides or wear pacifiers on the subway (unfortunate, the latter is one I've actually seen. The woman must have been at least 35 years old). There's a limit to everything, but don't let age be one.
Especially now that life is so long, it makes it easier and gives people more opportunities than ever before. Even women benefit from modern life. Jennifer Love Hewitt and others have elected to freeze their eggs so they could have children at a later, more suitable stage in life. Of course, it's up to each individual to figure out what their priorities are. Having babies at an early age or out of wedlock isn't bad. It's the fact that often, these parents do not have the means to take care of their own children because they're too young to support a family. Again, it's all about prioritizing because you'll never run out of things to do, but never use your age as an excuse. Check out this 91-year old bodybuilder to prove my point.
Believe it or not, I still get from grown-ups and kids alike that I'm very young at heart. Kids even say that I'm "child-like." They say I always have an energy to myself, have high spirits and excitement to my personality. Hey, that's what I want for myself because otherwise, I'd get bored. The reason why I don't really get bored is because not only have I figured out how to manage my time, but I always like to add value to any given situation with my own definition of "fun." That's probably what people are referring to. I can have fun at home by myself as easily as I can with friends out clubbing. That was an art I was starting to lose until I got laid off as I said before, which propelled all the events that would eventually allow me to re-discover the joy in life. I've realized that it's so easy losing yourself because so many things like work, meeting different people, relationships, worrying about finances, etc. can just make you forget because it's so easy to get lost in it all. The reason why you see kids so happy is because life hasn't had the chance to ruin their "fun." It's so easy to be happy when you're young because you have a "blank slate." That's why I believe the fact that kids today may be growing up too fast is what's killing the "fun" of the new generation.
I may be 30, but it doesn't mean that I have to act like it. We are what we become, and nothing comes of worth without working for it. It also depends on what you want from it. There's no right or wrong like I said before, because I believe everyone adds their unique value. No one can be everything, and everyone's uniqueness brings diversity to the world.
For more interesting reading to see where I'm coming from, look at 5 Reasons Life is Better After Age 30 and 5 Reasons You Don't Miss Your 20s When They're Over (I can definitely attest to #3!) courtesy of cracked.com. Just because your 30's will be different, it doesn't mean it can't be fun (actually, a survey found 33 to be the happiest age). So party like it's 1999! Or 2015! Or 1983! Or whatever year your ideal age is because it's how old you think you are, not how many years you have.
How often do you avoid doing something not necessarily because it's bad, but because it's out of your comfort zone and you'd rather not disturb things in your life. You could be working in an awful job, not getting enough money to cover expenses, have a lousy relationship with a significant other, and still decide you don't want to "ruin" things. Sure, things can always be worse, but would that really be what you want for yourself? The problem with this is how do you expect to improve yourself if you never try? Like Wayne Gretzky says, "you miss 100% of the shots you never take," so at least try something. Grab that hockey stick and take a shot, a peck. You don't even have to use a hockey stick. Try kicking it in the goal. Try at least get near the goal. Who cares if it hits the back of the net instead of inside? The whole point is DO it.
Like with everything, it takes experience in order to get better at it. No one is 100% the first time they try something new, but as you try more and more, the better you get no matter how much you sucked in the beginning. Don't worry about results because they come in time (Rule #1: Focus on mastering the correct technique, not the end results. Once you master the basics, the good results you seek will follow on their own). In my opinion, too many people whine about not getting anywhere after a week of trying something new and then go back to doing something old, even though it hasn't worked for years and years. I say that one time is an accident, twice is a coincidence and three times, you're doing something wrong that you need to change (now known as Rule #24). I'm as guilty as anyone with falling into patterns. This makes sure I don't fall into bad habits through subjective thinking. Besides, making mistakes if what life is all about because that's how we learn (Rule #25: If you're not making mistakes in life, it means you're not learning and growing as a person).
4) Don't compare yourself to others
I'm sure that as you age, you're compelled to look at your peers to see "how far you've come" at your ever-advancing age. DON'T DO IT! There will always be someone smarter, stronger, taller, better-looking, has more money that you, has a hotter boy/girlfriend that yours, has a better apartment, drives a better car, etc. The point is it's meaningless to compare apples to oranges. It's like saying that the team with the best record in Major League Baseball for example is going to win the World Series. As you see, it rarely happens and having the "best" win-loss record in baseball doesn't guarantee that you're the "best." Here are some stats at how often the "best" team in baseball wins the entire championship (hint: it's far from a guarantee).
So what does it mean to be the best? Easy. There's is no such thing (Rule #6: There is no such thing as being the best or the worst. There is only such a thing as becoming the best or the worst that you can be). Just like with everyone, you are better than someone else in certain areas of life and talents, just like they're better than you or other areas of life and talents. Besides, you never know a person's ENTIRE life story so it's easy to hate on others when in reality, their life is far from perfect as well. I know for example whenever I date a smoking hot girl, it's like that because people think she's seemingly "untouchable" lady. Then, reality sets in because as I get to know the lady, it's like opening Pandora's Box where all the evils come out (from experience, the hotter girls tend to be less emotionally and mentally stable than your average person). Usually, the surprise is so bad it practically knocks me on my ass with me saying "WHOA!" Then afterwards, it's not uncommon for guys who know about my dates to ask me for her information (so they can contact her) or asking me to hook them up with her or at least introduce them to my female friends. They usually don't believe me when I say it's not worth it.
I will show you all who's the strongest one in the world!
If I had a nickel for every person that said they're too "old" to do certain things now that they're in their 30's and beyond, I'd be a rich man. What's stopping you? Is there a law against going to the gym and get fit, or eating better for a healthier lifestyle. Really, people! Don't use laziness as an excuse. If you don't want to do it for yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. You just don't feel like making the effort. Now, I'm not saying you should ride on the coin-operated kiddie rides or wear pacifiers on the subway (unfortunate, the latter is one I've actually seen. The woman must have been at least 35 years old). There's a limit to everything, but don't let age be one.
Especially now that life is so long, it makes it easier and gives people more opportunities than ever before. Even women benefit from modern life. Jennifer Love Hewitt and others have elected to freeze their eggs so they could have children at a later, more suitable stage in life. Of course, it's up to each individual to figure out what their priorities are. Having babies at an early age or out of wedlock isn't bad. It's the fact that often, these parents do not have the means to take care of their own children because they're too young to support a family. Again, it's all about prioritizing because you'll never run out of things to do, but never use your age as an excuse. Check out this 91-year old bodybuilder to prove my point.
Believe it or not, I still get from grown-ups and kids alike that I'm very young at heart. Kids even say that I'm "child-like." They say I always have an energy to myself, have high spirits and excitement to my personality. Hey, that's what I want for myself because otherwise, I'd get bored. The reason why I don't really get bored is because not only have I figured out how to manage my time, but I always like to add value to any given situation with my own definition of "fun." That's probably what people are referring to. I can have fun at home by myself as easily as I can with friends out clubbing. That was an art I was starting to lose until I got laid off as I said before, which propelled all the events that would eventually allow me to re-discover the joy in life. I've realized that it's so easy losing yourself because so many things like work, meeting different people, relationships, worrying about finances, etc. can just make you forget because it's so easy to get lost in it all. The reason why you see kids so happy is because life hasn't had the chance to ruin their "fun." It's so easy to be happy when you're young because you have a "blank slate." That's why I believe the fact that kids today may be growing up too fast is what's killing the "fun" of the new generation.
Too fast? No way! I don't want to be the only one at the singles table during my mom's second wedding.
I may be 30, but it doesn't mean that I have to act like it. We are what we become, and nothing comes of worth without working for it. It also depends on what you want from it. There's no right or wrong like I said before, because I believe everyone adds their unique value. No one can be everything, and everyone's uniqueness brings diversity to the world.
For more interesting reading to see where I'm coming from, look at 5 Reasons Life is Better After Age 30 and 5 Reasons You Don't Miss Your 20s When They're Over (I can definitely attest to #3!) courtesy of cracked.com. Just because your 30's will be different, it doesn't mean it can't be fun (actually, a survey found 33 to be the happiest age). So party like it's 1999! Or 2015! Or 1983! Or whatever year your ideal age is because it's how old you think you are, not how many years you have.
No comments:
Post a Comment